Stop Walking Alone!

No Wonder You Feel Lost…

 By: LeeAnn Heinbaugh, MA

 

Ughhhh! I’m overwhelmed. There’s not enough time in the day. I need help, but I don’t have time to explain it to someone else! Besides, it’s easier to just to do it myself!

 

Do any of these sound familiar to you? As women in the workforce, home, and world in general, we tend more and more to “walk alone,” to “do it ourselves.” This is what these statements are really saying.

 

There is not enough space here to deeply explore the many social, cultural, familial, emotional and psychological reasons for this autonomy and the accompanying isolation we have adopted. However, in its most basic terms, we are busy. There is a lot to do. And doing has become our primary reality.

 

The result is that life is often driving us, rather than us steering it or being aware of where we are really going. We are running down pathways and to destinations based on the demands of work, home, family, community, and a myriad of other daily things. Add to this the intense pace and never-ending stimuli of our outer world of technology, finance and activity, and it is a lot.

 

I like to describe this as a literal consciousness of do, do, do followed by done, done, done. Then we quickly find our selves at next, next, next. And along the way, we encounter varied forms of dang it, dang it, dang it and more ughhhh’s. The point is, we are busy to the point of consumption in outer things, and thus largely unaware of or awake to the deeper nature of who we are inside. This leaves us devoid of solid, unconditional relationships with ourselves and with others.

 

As a result, we become isolated. We feel orphaned, alone, frustrated and somehow lost to our own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. The resources we dedicate to ourselves are too often lost, low or not even on the priority list of our lives.

 

It is curious to see how often we feel lost and alone amidst all this activity. This is because action and activity do not equate to relationships. Doing and being are not the same. Intimacy and deep emotion are hard to find in the events of outer action. Since spirit is most naturally and fully lived from the inside, it has little or no way of existing in this solitary outer world of things.

 

As women we really do need and desire community. It is incredibly important to share, to communicate and to be connected. Some of us yearn for or have more of a need for this than others. This is our uniqueness. Nonetheless, I hear women consistently talk about, cry about, wonder about and struggle with a deep feeling of being alone. We feel a deep and persistent sense that there is something more, that we are somehow lost in terms of not finding what we are seeking.

 

At our core (spiritually, physically, psychologically and emotionally) we are drawn to gather, to share and to be part of something more than ourselves. What a beautiful thing. Yet, in the world today many of us have become so conditioned to being separate in all the doing, that we are not aware of how alone we truly are. I believe this is a learned condition, not natural to our nature. It is born of the intensity of things. We are overwhelmed, tired, stressed and angry. This becomes a difficult dichotomy. We feel these emotions because we are flying “solo;” yet, we keep doing it because we are fueled by these very same emotions. It is like a gerbil running on a wheel.

 

How we grow beyond this, get off the wheel, and begin to more fully connect is as varied as we are as individuals. Some identify with a desire to find what I call our clan or our tribe – a sacred group to which we feel a kinship and belonging. Yet others of us feel most drawn to a certain individual, to a specific discipline or to particular practices. For still others, it may be all of the above and even more.

 

There is no wrong answer here. Seek and find what you desire, need, miss, want or are curious about. As women, as human beings, it serves us to connect and belong with others. The pattern of continually striving, stumbling along and struggling alone is really a form of self-denial and, ultimately, of abuse. Each of us deserves and has the opportunity for a, deeper, richer, and more spiritual experience of living.

 

So, I offer to you an opportunity to consider what this may hold for you. Honor yourself and others. There are so many amazing, beautiful, inspiring, enlightening and fun people and practices in the world for us to explore. Why be here on this physical plane of human experience if not to share it with others? And why on earth (pun intended) would we continue to walk it alone? To do this is a hurried habit, not a healthy, whole practice.

 

 

LeeAnn works internationally as a consultant, teacher and guide with individuals and groups. For more information visit www.journeysinliving.com 

Let Your Horse Catch You - by Anna Twinney

I am very fortunate.  When I look back over my life, for the most part, I have always wanted to get out of bed, welcome the day, and witness what life has in store for me.  It’s the thought of those every day wonders about to happen right in front of my eyes that keep me excited; seeing the miracles nature has to offer, meeting the people and experiencing the multitude of cultures all around the globe. 

 

I adore the fact that every experience is an opportunity to learn something new, albeit challenging at times.  Each encounter with friends, family and those around me is a chance to gain and share insights into the life lessons individual to us all yet shared by everyone.  And if we are paying attention we can witness the impact trickle down to the next person and the next and the next…

When working with your horse hold on to these types of feelings as best you can as this is what we want our horses to feel when they see us.  We want them to greet us with joy and excitement asking, “What’s in store today?” 

 

For those horses who don’t want to be close and run a mile when they see us approach we have a frustrating challenge on our hands.  If we are to solve the problem of “catching a horse that doesn’t want to be caught”, we have to ask the tough questions and be prepared for the answers no matter what they are.  We have to ask what is the “real” reason they don’t want to be with us, what is the underlying cause? 

 

Although the specific answers may be varied, in general that question can be answered in one sentence; they don’t see value in our presence.  But what does this really mean to us?  Our horses are trying to tell us something and it’s our responsibility to listen and understand.  So it is time to stop trying to catch your horse and instead hear what your horse is saying.  If you can change what your horse doesn’t like then you will never have to catch your horse again.  Instead he will greet you with excitement and curiosity.

 

Discomfort

Before you do anything at all, you need to consider your horse’s wellbeing.  As a living, breathing member of the planet that wellbeing includes physical, mental and emotional needs.  Your horse may be trying to tell you how he feels physically.  He will have begun to change his behavior under saddle, expressed his feelings while being tacked-up and finally, with no more options available to him, moved on to show you he no longer wants to come to you as this means he will be subjected to discomfort yet again.  So to start off…

 

Create a checklist of possibilities: Tack-fitting: Saddle, girth, bridle

                                                                                Teeth floating: Sharp edges, wolf teeth, abscesses, etc.

Injuries, illnesses & pain: Seek vet advice & then consider a chiropractor, massage therapist, acupuncture, energy healing, etc.

                                                                                Hooves/shoe fitting: consult a farrier

                                                                                Rider inability/error:  maybe some lessons are in order

 

Once we take care of any physical pain we can then look at the possible emotional trauma they may have faced in the past.  Just like humans, the loss of young, grieving missed friendships, location moves, inappropriate management and handling, and a myriad of other experiences can easily create trauma in a horse.  These memories stay with them for life and it’s our commitment that helps them through these troubling experiences.

 

Tip: Consult professional advice to help your horse through any type of trauma or discomfort

 

Your Body Language

Like most beings on the planet, including humans, the horse’s language is primarily non-verbal. They express themselves through body language using gestures, actions, energy and visualization.  They analyze your movements upon approach, intuitively reading your agenda, inner thoughts, feelings, beliefs and limitations. 

 

The way you carry yourself gives your horse a great deal of information about you and what is on your mind for the day.  If there are time pressures, concerns or fears they will know.  Some horses pride themselves on supporting their “guardian” during these situations, while others feel its best to just not get involved and walk the other way.

 

Tip: Leave your baggage at the gate and don’t let it interfere with your horse work.

 

 

Your horse’s body language

The horse’s language is predictable, discernable and effective.  It’s a language that can be learned and although, in their eyes we are predators, we can bridge the gap between the two worlds. 

 

Observe horses in their natural habitat and you will witness the intricacies of their communication and interactions.  Even the subtlest of gestures speaks loudly to a horse.  It’s important to remember that when you walk out to the pasture.  Are you yelling at them with your body language or are you whispering to them.  Are you talking to them or talking at them.  All types of communication can be valid and useful in the appropriate circumstance.  What is your body language saying and how is it impacting those around you? 

 

For example, walking straight at your horse, shoulders pointed towards your horse, eyes piercing your horse’s eyes, tells your horse one thing; you mean business.  Without realizing it you have just put pressure on your horse.  You are saying, “Pay attention” or “Leave the area, this is my piece of grass” either way your actions demand a response.  Your horse is only too happy to oblige and walk off or, if you are particularly unlucky, this is where the “games” begin!

 

So how should you approach your horse?  Well, horses naturally walk in arcs and angles.  Therefore, it would be more appropriate to approach your horse with a slight curve, creating a half moon in front of your horse.  By remaining in front of your horse’s shoulders at all times you are ensuring that you don’t inadvertently drive them away. 

 

In addition, rather than strong gestures, horses prefer more passive movements and actions.  Try rounded shoulders and soft movements lowering your head slightly using your peripheral vision to watch your horse’s response.  This type of communication tells your horse that you mean no harm. 

 

You can learn more about “the language of Equus” and how to talk to your horse in my DVD series “Reach Out to Natural Horsemanship”.

 

      Tip: Learn your horse’s language.  You can’t talk to your horse if you don’t know what you are

               saying.

 

Your Agenda

Not only do horses read our body language, they also know our agendas.  For us this means we need to pay particular attention to our thoughts.  It’s a great idea to have a goal in mind, but it’s also foolish to fall in love with it!  Stay in the moment as you communicate with your equine partner and don’t be afraid to change your mind if your original plan doesn’t seem to fit the moment.

 

Tip: Visualize a plan and be flexible.  Don’t be afraid to change the goal if it doesn’t fit the moment.

 

Your horse’s feelings

You may need to examine your agenda in greater depth.  Consider all the times you visit your horse.  Are there occasions when you need to let off steam, tack up and enjoy the country side, visit your friends or improve your riding skills?  Does each visit involve only your needs and happiness or do you include how your horse feels on this particular day?  If each time you visit, you don’t see his needs he will begin to walk away regardless of what you need.

 

We have all occasionally woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe your horse is having a bad day too.  He could have been scolded by another horse, missed breakfast or lunch, dislike cold weather, merely be tired from a bad night’s sleep or feel a little sore. 

 

If you are not in a position to board your horse at home, remember to ask those who take care of him.  They may know more.

 

Tip: Keep the channels of communication open.  Give your horse a voice in your plans.

Motivation

Motivation is the key for your horse to want to come to you…you are partners after all.  What motivates your horse?  Nearly every one likes to assume and I hear common answers like “food” or “rest”, but it’s not until we let our horse tell us that we will know for sure.  

 

During the Reach Out to Horses Certification program all students get together on the last day to discover just this.  We wait until later in the program to ensure we have some background knowledge on individual horses as this exercise can become somewhat precarious otherwise.  I suggest you only venture down this road if you have the right equipment and always make safety your first priority.  You can also adapt the exercise to suit your needs.

 

Exercise:  Equipment: Safety helmet, gloves, long-line and halter.

     The exercise lasts around 20-30 minutes and each student is assigned their specific horse for the week. 

 

Prior to starting the exercise it is fun to write down what you think motivates your horse!  Then clip the long-line onto the halter with about 20-25 feet in the line so your horse has plenty of room to explore. 

 

Without hinting or guiding your horse allow them to show you what intrigues them.  This will give you a chance to explore his true motivation.   It’s important to stay safe throughout the exercise and remain at a 45 degree angle without stepping into the kick zone.  Although some horses have picked up a jog its best to keep the exercise calm and slow. 

 

Each time we conduct this exercise students come back surprised with the results.  Some horses explore every stall and opening, others visit all the horses on the property.  Individuals have pranced, displaying their manhood, while others partook of the joy of grazing. 

 

Once you discover your horse’s preferences you are in a position to praise accordingly.  By building that motivation into your personal program you give your horse a voice too!

 

Tip: Discover what motivates your horse and incorporate it into the time with him.

 

Hopefully you can now see why there is no such thing as: “I can’t catch my horse”.  Investing the time to listen to and understand your horse will reap rewards far beyond being able to catch him in the pasture.  Plus the more time you spend with your horse, the more time you’ll have spent with your horse, strengthening your bond and creating a great partnership.  And after all, isn’t that the reason you got him in the first place?

 

About Anna Twinney: 

 

Anna Twinney is an internationally respected Animal Communicator, Equine Specialist, Natural Horsemanship Clinician, and Reiki Master.  She has been featured on TV, national and international magazines and travels the world educating people and horses working in the horse’s own language.  As the founder of the Reach Out to Horses® program, she remains on the cutting-edge of genuine, gentle communication techniques with all our planetary companions.  For more information on Anna and the Reach Out to Horses program go to www.reachouttohorses.com.

Imagine A Horse - Agility & Trick Training

Enlightened Trick Training is an excellent vehicle to help to develop the full potential of a horse as either a companion horse or performance horse. Trick Training is about developing a horse’s mind, body and emotions. It helps to bring forth and perfect willing obedience, cooperation, and increases a horse’s learning capacity. Through Trick Training a horse’s attention span is usually expanded and as a bonus, it gives a horse interesting learned behaviors that he can use to help him interact with humans

Imagine A Horse has created a modern methodology for training primarily Trick / Exhibition Horses and Companion Horses. Trick Training looks like a lot of fun and it is, but it is also very serious training that can yield amazing results.

Trick Training can be used with any breed or age of horse. At Red Horse Ranch, training begins soon after imprinting because being a precocial species, horses are neurologically ready to learn soon after birth. The horses that grow up watching other horses perform seem to develop an exceptional ability to learn and to focus. When Trick Training a mature horse, we usually integrate it with saddle training (or upgrading skills) as it can take additional time to develop the habit and desire to “learn how to learn”. Mature horses also must develop muscle memory to match their mental absorption rate which can be very rapid in an intelligent horse.

The Tennessee Walking Horse is bred for versatility and intelligence, and has a propensity for agreeable behavior. They are excellent Trick Horse and Exhibition Horse candidates.

Sue De Laurentis and Allen Pogue jointly founded Imagine A Horse and live near Dripping Springs, Texas. You may contact them at  512-264-0442  or visit their web sites at www.redhorseranch.net and www.imagineahorse.com